Art of Control and Surrender

October 13, 2020

Saturday morning I woke to the hum of the pattering rain striking the ground. It’s the beginning of fall in the South, where crisp mornings start the day and migrate into warmer, cozier experiences as the warm sun beats down. However, this particular morning is one of those wet ones, where you long to curl up with warm cup of coffee or tea to start the day, curl up in your jammies, and perhaps hunker down with warm comfort food to start your day.

For me, trail running often propels me out the door pre-coffee, but I decided that it felt like a day that my body would appreciate taking off, so I practiced yoga instead online with Yoga with Adriene. While I discovered yoga in 2013 and started practicing, I can’t begin to describe how nurturing I found it, especially later as I healed with my concussions. It’s also a great way to retrain your brain! Of course, if I felt that a class was too advanced or had any upside down poses that I was uncomfortable doing, I opted out and practiced child’s pose. I’m grateful to Scott Campbell and his Yoga for Bodies that Don’t Bend class that I took at Balanced Movement Studios. It encouraged me to practice balance and it brought peace and strength back to my system. I highly encourage all of you to seek out a yoga practice to help you, injured or not.

Within the last year, I discovered Love Your Brain, which offers yoga and meditation courses online and in person (though not in COVID times). I took their class this past winter and was delighted to meet others who understood this experience of a traumatic brain injury. For the first time, I was surrounded in a room of other concussed individuals who were able to support, share, and encourage one another on their journey. Language used to describe things was instantly understood and required if anything, only a brief explanation. Refreshing, doesn’t quite do justice to how I felt.

Breathing for me has always been something of great importance. Yes, it is something we do without thinking about it, but it has only been in the last few years that I’ve thought of it more intentionally. I named my photography business, A Breath of Fresh Air Photography in 2008 without much thought other than it felt right to call it this. But, as I’ve given it more thought, it’s a nod to the breath, including my appreciation for opening up a window and feeling crisp air hit my lungs, gratitude for my lungs, especially when one was punctured when I was in the head-on collision in 2002, and most importantly for my ability to draw in a breath and the rhythm that ensues as I glide across the trails. It’s also a nod to seeing things from a different perspective, and how our lens shape what we share.

Hollie - Yoga-4.jpg — Let it In & Let it Out

Breathing centers us, slows down our mind, brings peace, especially if we find ourselves wound up or stressed. Movement aids this too and if we take in each moment with a single breath, we allow the art of control and surrender to happen simultaneously. As I healed from my concussions, I found centering, peace, as well as strength as I encouraged my body to walk on trails near my house. The walk might not be long and it initially began with making it to the house next door. I rested the following day and then was able to walk two doors down. This pattern continued until I was able to walk around the block and then to the trails and to do a tiny loop that took maybe 15-20 minutes. This took me a long time to build up to do, but was something I cherished as a part of my day. I enabled me to feel like I had a bit of control until my body said, no, it’s time to slow down again and rest.

My instructor Scott referenced the art of control and surrender during practice one day and that thought fully resonated with me. As you breath in, breath in something mentally that you want to welcome and as you release, let something go. So, whether you are running, walking, or practicing yoga, take a moment as you propel yourself into your day and notice your pattern of breathing. Slow it down if it is going fast. Take in a deep breath and hold it. Slowly let it go. It’s an art and I challenge you to embrace it. You have the power to embrace retraining your body. Go for it!

Resilience

September 11, 2020

Per Mike and Dave Radparvar, Co-Founders of Holstee, September is a month where "we explore ways to leverage Resilience in the face of adversity, and how we can grow through the setbacks we experience in our lives.” As a member of Holstee, I receive a monthly reflection guide, art, resources and more, but most importantly an opportunity to explore deeper conversations on a one hour video chat call with other members. I highly recommend this to anyone interested. It’s absolutely wonderful to meet others who like to delve deeper.

Iona, Scotland Photo by Martha HoelzerWhen you first view this photograph, do you think it’s too dark, and not enough light to see the path? Do you feel stuck and weighted down by the feeling of your feet sinking in the sand? Or, do you see light be… — Iona, Scotland Photo by Martha Hoelzer
When you first view this photograph, do you think it’s too dark, and not enough light to see the path? Do you feel stuck and weighted down by the feeling of your feet sinking in the sand? Or, do you see light beginning to crest through the clouds and the possibility of what could be beyond the other side of the hill?

Victim Mentality Or Not?

July 31, 2020

Yesterday morning and this last week and half have been anything but what I had expected. And quite honestly, while I believe we are taught when we are young to project what we want in the future, and to have some sort of 5 year plan mapped out, things don’t go according to plan. While I think having a plan or something to strive towards is a good driver, being able to adapt and roll with the punches is incredibly important and perhaps not always emphasized as something that life will throw at you as you grow through the years.

With a Brain Injury, the Only Thing Certain, Is Uncertainty

July 8, 2020

Uncertainty. It’s the one thing that anyone can grab onto when struggling with a concussion. A concussion is a form of a brain injury. It may sound silly for me to state that as an obvious, but I think we hear so much about concussion that the phrase is associated only with athletes or with students and we lose sight that yes, it’s the head, but it’s the brain. It impacts every facet of you because ultimately, the brain controls the body. So, when you have a concussion, it is one form of a brain injury.

What To Expect Within The First Few Weeks Of A Concussion

June 15, 2020

I recently had someone ask me about tips and suggestions for someone who had just sustained a concussion; what would I suggest and what resources would be helpful. His friend didn’t feel as though he or his wife were given much information upon leaving the hospital and were searching for more answers about what to expect.